Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
