She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
