I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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