she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
