He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
