I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
