I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
