We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
