So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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