i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
