woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
