OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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