Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
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You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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