I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
