Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
