I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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