You smell like a Billy Joel song
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
