She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
