just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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