3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
