How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i think i just lost a toe
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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