I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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