I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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