how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
