He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
