My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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