hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
