You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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