So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
