You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
