if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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