So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
