just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
