Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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