Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
