just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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