Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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