I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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