so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
