i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
