Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
