if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
