I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
