At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
