Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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