nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
