I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
