I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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