he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
