I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
