He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
