sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
