its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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