She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
