Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
