i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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