Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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