Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize