Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You don't make any sense
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