She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
