I want to make a zoo with you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Less talking, more tequila
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
