I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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