No awkward lesbian experiences without me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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